Why & How I’m Going to Therapy

My History with Therapy

During high school, I experienced several traumatic experiences in 1 year. I developed Depression and began to self-harm. Afraid, I told my mom what was happening and from there I’d experience my first therapist. After attending a few sessions, I chose to stop going. I don’t quite remember what made me decide to stop.

My next experience was in college. I saw a therapist a few times on my own after experiencing severe Anxiety. A year or so after I stopped seeing the school’s counselor, I took a counseling class. The only reason I took the class, was because it was required to graduate with my degree. In this class, we’d learn the theories & techniques behind counseling others. Then we’d practice them on one-another.

During both of these experiences, I always felt worse during & after the sessions. I was still experiencing severe Anxiety but wasn’t seeing an improvement. So, as the course ended, so did my counseling.

Which leads us to the present moment.

My Decision to Go Back

I’ve been spending the past year “speaking my truth”. I’ve found a lot of healing from sharing with others- hence why I can be a bit TMI on Instagram.

I’ve been doing my best to always be honest. To share how I’m truly feeling. Not the “I’m good” answer that I’m so used to giving & recieving from others.

As the #metoo movement grows in the United States- I’m being triggered more often by assaults that happened over 10 years ago. For so long, I pretended what happened didn’t happen. As the frequency of my flashbacks increase, I realized that I need help.

Over the last 3 years, I’ve been incredibly brave in my self-growth, but it’s been exhausting. I realized that I can’t do this on my own.

 

My Hopes

As my mother-in-law said, “It may feel like you’re going back, but remember, you’re moving forward.” I am scared. I’m scared of the feelings that are going to come up. But most importantly, I’m excited. I’m excited for what is possible. I’m excited to feel free. I’m hopeful that my quality of life will be a little better after opening up & being honest about my past.

How I’m Receiving Therapy

I didn’t want to change my nomadic lifestyle to receive therapy. I needed something that would be flexible & could happen from wherever I have an internet connection.

With TalkSpace, I’m able to receive face-to-face sessions with a licensed Minnesota Therapist. And then write unlimited messages & receive messages as my therapist is able to respond.

So far, my experience has been incredible. I am proud of myself. After my first face-to-face session, I didn’t feel worse. Instead, I felt happy with my decision to be brave.

I hope that my experience is inspiring to you- to either do something that you’re scared to do or to know that you’re not alone.

We all have things that we’re dealing with. That at the end of the day, we’re all human. We all have “stuff” in our lives that are challenging us.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for being here.